His exact words were: “Need your help Bhai. Help me out.”
I listened and felt his pain as he was speaking. I knew what he was trying to say. This conversation reminded me of another friend who in the middle of conversation said “It’s so frustrating to see people behave like this.” “Koi itna seriously nhi leta. But mujhe hi jabran sunna padta hai.”
I’ve been experiencing talks and sentences like these from my friends. 2 of my great friends have individually texted and talked to me about how some thoughts/ behavior of others/circumstances are disturbing them. This happens with everybody right?
No!
When words specifically mention “Feeling like shit, I’ve lost peace of mind, kuch samajh nhi aata.”
I can understand that there’s no peace in the job. Some of them have asked me for guided meditations. I try my best to help them by listening to understand and not just reply, motivating them, try to make them laugh and staying optimistic. But these incidents bug me every now and then. I often ask myself if not meditating is the reason behind this.
Between jobs and household responsibilities, yes it’s not easy. What if I am judging them on my schedule or methods? Did I ever feel like this? Is meditation the panacea of all problems? What is this prison we’re trapped in? Are our thoughts our alone?
Image putting a speaker on your brain (Converting your thoughts-electrical impulses into Soundwaves) we all know what would happen then...😛
Over the years, I've realized that – Our thoughts are not truly ours. They don’t belong to us.
When we're born, our mind/brain is a clean slate. It doesn’t understand hate, depression, greed, fear, religion, and limitations. It has infinite potential. Yes, literally we can be anything we want.
As we grow, our experiences, culture, religion, family, and society as a whole condition us.
An unconditioned mind/brain is conditioned by self-limited conditioned minds. The brain works in the way of the control system of inputs and output with feedback. Ideas are like a virus. We are given the idea/ideology to do something, what to avoid, what to speak, what to dislike. You question them. When one is forced to not do something the more they want to try it. This is not to say that religion is bad. Religion is very much important. It gives us a moral compass. It helps us define questions like Who are we? Why are we here? Why good or bad things happen and what not. The explanations and reasoning might not “fit into our reasoning and logic but its fine”. Religions without philosophy are plain emotions which is worrisome and entirely different thing.
"There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so"
- Shakespeare
All these things give shape/ form/ weight/ views to our thoughts. Our thoughts make us feel in a certain way- good or bad. The system approaches the breakdown in the following manner :
1. When we don’t let our feelings and thoughts out, we don’t share, they keep bothering us every now and then. It happens for a few days and depending on how one feels and acts - people call it your MOOD - What is up with you? What has happened to you? I’m not in the mood. Leave me right now.
2. This mood remains as such and becomes the “New Normal” and then one oscillates between the highs and low of mood. This goes on for 1-3 months and now it becomes your TEMPERAMENT - Why are you always so angry? What is so funny that you're laughing all the time?
3. This goes on for 6/8 months to 1 year and it becomes inherent to your nature. It becomes your ATTITUDE. It gets so deeply embedded that your family and friends now defend you by saying – “Uska Nature hi aisa hai.” Don’t be mad at him for what he says or does because “Woh aisa hi hai.”
It is not your fault. Your thoughts are not your own. Every advice, thoughts you have read, heard or been told is merely the distortion or a different version of an existing one. All these leave an imprint on that clean slate and now 35%-50% is left to write/ feed the system. We learn, live, understand others with this narrow slate of narrow mind. Obviously, our ability to comprehend the truth and see beyond the right and wrong is hindered. Ultimately our thoughts or things that bother us are neither absolute nor correct. We give them too much power. Clearly, there is nothing to blame yourself for.
The important thing is to not suppress them. Do not fight them. Let them out. The more we suppress them, the stronger and long lasting they become. Talking to our family and friends will definitely help. There must be 1 person in 7Bn + population who will not judge and listen with interest.
I’ll not say it’s very easy but yes it's worth trying.
Just observe the thoughts and the things bothering you. Go beyond - Why me? How much longer will I have to face this? How did I get here? This requires patience.
Over time, you’ll realize that there is a prison. A prison without bars. Prison where no concept of bail exists. No releasing period. It is dangerous than real prison because at least there are windows and bars in the real one. In the prison of the mind, you can’t breathe (suffocating, dark thoughts) and see no light (being frustrated and having no hope and courage to change things). As you cannot see it, YOU HAVE NO DESIRE TO ESCAPE IT.
We can only escape by first accepting that a prison exists and we're trapped. Next is observing the things that make us feel like shit! Feel them originate and follow the ripples they create. This requires - 2 minutes, a quiet place and a great deal of patience. Start by allowing the thoughts to come and don’t judge them. Let them take the shape they want to, let them create the turbulence. We just have to see where they lead us. We have to do absolutely nothing (not just physically but mentally too). 'Might seem easy and if it is then congratulations. Now you won’t be bamboozled by the socio-cultural conditions. We need to go behind the right and left. Just like UPSC's syllabus and paper - practice is the key. It won’t be easy but it’s worth trying.
It is easy to blame the reservation system, the other departments, religion, ideology and to be pessimistic. All the violence in the name in of supremacy, killing people for money, draining the banks (taxpayers money) for business and fleeing country when they have no money left, killing animals in the name of tasty food and their skin (It's your choice, I get it), cutting trees for buildings - for “development” and when nature balances things in its own way, we cry – Why God? How did God and the authorities let it happen? Even after all this, we can still be optimistic for just one reason :
151,600 people die each day or 6316 people die every hour.
Please meditate daily and express genuine gratitude for the life you and your family has been given at least 3 times a day and smile. Within 1 month you'll automatically (subconsciously) learn to filter the bullshit because when you thank for being alive, you'll do things that matter.
Don’t automatically assume that you’ll be alive in the morning. People often say maybe, maybe THANOS was right, he had a point. All these people include themselves in the other half!
Always remember that you can be in the world and not of it!
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